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OF DOGS AND CHURCH MICE

OF DOGS AND CHURCH MICE

Rev. Jeremy Goulston and John Rodda as church mice... 'Dogfest', Alec McGivan's poetic take on the BBC film on doggie doings in the village... a ukelele and a professional singer... Andy Lewis as both a vicar and the devil... All human life was there at this year's summer concert in  St Agatha's church.

The proceeds of around £700 will be split between St Agatha's and the Kakumba Refugee Camp in Northern Kenya.

In case you missed Alec's 'Dogfest', below is the text...

DOGFEST

‘Dear Mrs Baines, I’m not bothered
I just wanted you to know
That my little doggy
Is available for your show’

PAUSE

Brightwell braced itself
For television fame
Dogs were everywhere
When the cameras came

‘Hello, over here’
One excited owner cried
‘Rover’s ready for the starring role.’
Mrs Baines, she sighed.

The owner persisted
‘It’ll be a tour-de-force.’
Mrs Baines smiled politely,
‘Yes, indeed, of course.’

There was a Humble in the Jungle
As TV Kate came by
‘Look at me’ ‘Look at Mine’
Came the owners’ cry.

PAUSE

‘Dear Mrs Baines, I’m not bothered,
But you’ve not replied as yet
My doggy is still waiting
For the call to be on set.’


Owners jostled for position
All claimed to be the best
Each one protesting
They were a cut above the rest.

The dogs lined up together
The big ones and the small
The pedigrees, the mongrels,
The short, the fat, the tall

Two ‘ladies’ locked in combat
‘You see mine is rather cute
Yours on the other hand
Is something of a brute’

Things started to turn nasty
The opponent seeing red
‘My dog is strong and handsome
It’s preposterous what you said’

Ms Humble got down to business
As every dog was counted
It was feeling like Eastenders
As the tension mounted.

PAUSE

‘Dear Mrs Baines, I’m not bothered’
(the hell I’m not!)
‘But your call it never came
Our neighbours, on the other hand,
Are basking in their fame’



The arguing continued
Some began to shout
The dogs looked on quite calmly
As the owners all fell out

Surveying this bewildering scene
Step forward director, Dugan,
Addressing the assembled throng
With, ‘I have a cunning plan’.

‘Having watched you all in action
It is obvious to me
That while the dogs are entertaining
Owners make the best TV’

And so came telly’s newest soap
‘Brightenders’ was its name
And that is how our sweet abode
Achieved its world wide fame

END



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